Memories of a Flame
by FullMetalChic
Summary: A story Roy is writing. Set when he is twenty nine. Not at all along all the lines of the story. Some of the ishbal wars and that..romance sure and really just a little blurb. Or one of them there drabble thingys i keep hearin about...


Disclaimer: I do not own FULL METAL ALCHEMSIT, but I wish I owned Ed! . I'm Just kidding. I dunno where this came from. It just seemed to pop up. I think it's one of those dabblers that ended in three pages. Quiet a feat for me really. Even if I've written a 50 page song fic and what not. Needless to say this was just an inspired fic. Though by what I do not know. ENJOY!

Memories of a Flame

Why is it that when you become an 'employee' of the military everything changes and you have now become a 'dog' of the military? Isn't the reason why so many of us, young and only 18 or 19, have set out to become an 'employee' of such an establishment to be for the people and help them? Wasn't it once an honor to be apart of such tales of heroic bravery and death from saving your comrades in arms? As I have said why? Why are we ridiculed daily while trying to change some wrong committed in the past that we regret, but it saved some from a certain tragedy? I wanted to ask myself why I never committed that heinous act against myself while I had the chance and then I realized back then, as I do now, that my job was to protect and to do my best. I had to look after my best friends family when he died, because they were in part; my family as well. You see, being a 'dog' of the military has its' good points and yes its' bad points. I thought hard; long ago about what my alchemic powers were helping me commit. Unspeakable crimes against a people who at the time I thought must have deserved this fate. At the time it was what I had been ordered to do. They were outraged at us and wanted to banish us all, but I fought then for the military. I was nineteen then. Now, as I sit here telling you of this I am no longer a nineteen year old looking at a boy the same age as me and about to kill him with my flame. No I am sitting here in my comfy office chair thank-you very much, twenty-nine years old, writing this for the world to see. She's standing beside me, smiling at me, the woman I love, waiting for me to begin my tale for you, but I find I have stopped and now know why. Our son is waddling towards us now on two chubby legs reaching for me as if he wants to grasp something. I smile and Fuhrer Riza Mustang bends to pick him up.

"How's Maes?" She says cooing at him.

"How's my little man?" I ask knowing he wants in my lap.

"No, no honey. Daddy's working now." She says.

"Just for a little while." I beg holding my own arms out for my son who has black hair and golden yellow eyes. He makes burbling, cooing noises at me and I smile setting him in my lap. We've named him after Hughes, because I said I would. Riza is heavy with child again and we hope it's a girl, because you can't have one without the other I always say.

"Honey you need to get to work. I can watch Maes. He's no more trouble than the Brigadier General was when he was alive." I look at her and give her my famous look.

"I can't write without some inspiration as you know very well."

"Alright." She says walking from the room to go lay down. She's becoming more and more tired I see as she works around the house with chores and the baby. She's been up some nights in the bathroom dry heaving and I cringe knowing I've, in part, caused this little fiasco to occur. I never thought that I would be able to be with her forever and this is just how it has turned out. All of my dreams have been fulfilled. All of them save one. My wish to write the world and make them understand that these Dogs of the Military are actually people and our slogan Alchemists work for the people might seem a load of bullshit, but it isn't and those of us who have over come such odds and shown the world our true natures know it was worth all the pain in the end. So I guess I must start from the beginning or the end in some matters. I think maybe I will begin at the time I finally killed Pride and became the Furher. Which, by the way, is the turning point in my life and is where everything came together all nice and neat. Or maybe I should start with the Ishbal War. That was where it all started so why not. I think it would benefit both you and me, if I started from there.

At the time the military wanted us to kill the Isbalians. Those were my orders and I had to obey them. There were four of us there that had crystallized red water stones, myself, Armstrong, the Iron Blood Alchemist, and the Crimson Alchemist. We all were given orders to strike out against those who opposed and we did. Without mercy. Many fought back against that strike and things occurred there that affected everyone else ten years later. Dr. Marco had sense enough to flee when he found what his creation had made happen. He fled war and left us there to continue our killing streaks. Innocent bystanders, women and children and yes, even 19 year old boys with guns who thought that Alchemy was anything, but good. I was notorious with my flame, but the Crimson Alchemist killed more than just Isbalians, he was thrown into jail for killing some of his own. Then I did something that left a young girl parentless. Winry Rockbell is an automail maker and a damn good one I might add. Her parents were doctors during the Ishbal wars and made sure everyone was tended the same, whether they were the enemy or one of our own soldiers. I was so disgusted with myself. I don't remember quiet how long it had been after the war, but one day I couldn't take it anymore and I pulled my gun from its' holster and put it in my mouth to kill myself, but I was to much of a coward to do it.

It was after that Hughes was married and then later he had a daughter. A very beautiful daughter I might add, who is the best friend of my son. I am not mentioning something here, because before Elysia was even thought of there is Edward and Alphonse Elric. Two Alchemists trying to make a wrong right. Much like I had been trying to since the war, but anyway I'm getting off my point. Edward and Alphonse delved into the forbidden Alchemy simply because they wanted their mother back. They paid the price in the limbs they lost. It was after that Ed decided to join the army and I am proud to say I helped him accomplish that. So much happened, things that I had no control over, and things that I still have no clue what happened over them. It had been four years, Elysia had just turned four and something with Ed and Al had happened in one of the labs (I still do not know all that happened down there. Those words died when Hughes died.) and then what Major Hughes found out about hemolculi; these half human things that were created from alchemy. Hughes died that day only because he had found out the plan and he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Hughes died simply because he knew to much and that day my heart just about died with him. I know it sounds wrong, but he was my friend and friends stick next to one another. He didn't want me to be hurt and that is why he did the things that he did for me. He wanted my journey to the top to be without trouble and not that it was, because it wasn't, but it damn near was.

Things grew blurry from there as I found out more and more about what was going on. Confrontations here and there brought things into a larger perspective, but still I could not understand a non-existing, or once existing human beings desire to be human once again. I still fully believe that Scar's brother was the creator of these beings, even though he himself was an Ishbalian. I will never learn that story wither and will die a curious man who could not solve all the mysteries I wish I could. Ass I learned later from Ed his mother had come back in an imperfect form, a hemolculi who wanted to be human again. I continued to learn of the Elric brothers' plight. I did not know how to help. I did not know how to point them in the right direction.

Now Ed is no longer with us. He left this world; dimension if that suits you better; to give his brother the life they had wanted, a life that was not all metal suit of armor. I feel bad, because I couldn't help him and it seemed that I pushed him somehow into that direction. The hemolculi: Envy, Grief, Sloth, Gluttony, Pride, Greed and Lust all died in the end and I'm sure it was because of Envy or maybe even Grief that I could avenge the Brigadier General's death.

Riza was with me when I had my little tussle with the Furher and I assure you I am not all that ready to admit that she helped me. She helped me out on more than just one occasion and even kicked my ass a few times to make sure that I would get the picture. The time that I was going up against Scar and it was raining and I was trying to use my flame. She tripped me when I went to use it and yelled at me that it was raining. Flame does not work in rain! She said. I laugh at what she said now and smile.

Holding my son to me I breathe in the scent of his hair and the way it's Johnson and Johnson Baby Fresh. I know his mamma will want to give him a bath and soon the little bugger will have to go to bed. I will stop typing this soon and go in to lie down next to my wife. I will have given little Maes a bath, changed his diaper, put him to bed and kissed him goodnight. I will be changing my wife into her bed clothes, because she is too tired to do it and be changing myself. Then I will spoon her next to me and kiss her goodnight and hope that sometime during the night the baby will come.

So you see, that we are not 'dogs' any longer for the military, but men just like every other red-blooded human out there. We live, breathe, and die in mostly the same ways, though others sometimes die estranged deaths. I never will forget the things that I learned from my best friend and Edward Elric. I will never forget that Riza sacrificed a lot to keep me well and safe throughout the times we were working with one another as Colonel and Lieutenant. This is the end of my tale. Goodnight.

Please read and review this fic! I would appreciate it. Thank-you!


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